It's not that bad...it's just a funk...one that's already going away...just need to get it out. No garage doors and tail pipes for me...LOL.
May just go out to the Ranch and watch some try outs...it always makes me happy out there. :o)
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Funk
Ever have those days when you feel like complete and total shit? Not sick, but emotionally. One of those days when you look in the mirror and all you see are the bad things...the gray hairs, the wrinkles, every possible imperfection, the extra weight...everything wrong and nothing right. One of those days when you think about your life and where you are and where you've been and where you're going and it all seems like a total waste of time. One of those days when there is no light at the end of the tunnel...one of those days when you know there's good, but you just can't seem to see it through all the shit. Well, that is today...and I'm not even PMSing.
I'm tired. The sun is hiding behind all the fog. I just want to go home and get under the covers and stay there...forever.
I'm tired. The sun is hiding behind all the fog. I just want to go home and get under the covers and stay there...forever.
Monday, January 5, 2009
ambiguity
So, today my life path changed somewhat...well, more than somewhat and I unfortunately cannot tell anyone about it. I'm dying to get it off my chest and need to lean on my friends right now, but I can't really. So this post is my way of getting it out.
This change is defiantly something that I've wanted, but I really wanted it to happen in my own time frame. And now that it IS happening I'm having several waves of emotion - from total shock to fear to stress...I think the emotions noted would have been drastically different if things had happened a bit differently.
I'm thankful that some things have been set in motion to make this change a bit easier, but I'm still not really ready. I do know though that I AM on the right path. This is the way things were meant to happen...I can feel it. Whether it's true or not, putting it in writing makes me feel better at least.
I did have something else happen today that I thought would make the first thing a bit easier to swallow, but it didn't...it actually made it a bit harder and gave me way more to think about. Frick!
Damn, this is a hard blog to write. It's all good. I'm sure my friends will feel the same when I'm able to tell my tale...but for now I'm dealing with it as best I can.
On another note, my instructor thinks my flying is at commercial standards! wow, huh??!!? He says I'm ready for my instrument check ride after my next flight so I really have to get on the ball and study my ass off for the oral. I'm not there yet in that regard. I have some time to study tomorrow after work and have some ground school on Wednesday...so maybe check ride next week. From there it's just a few short hours before my commercial check ride - then who knows what...need to network more!
This change is defiantly something that I've wanted, but I really wanted it to happen in my own time frame. And now that it IS happening I'm having several waves of emotion - from total shock to fear to stress...I think the emotions noted would have been drastically different if things had happened a bit differently.
I'm thankful that some things have been set in motion to make this change a bit easier, but I'm still not really ready. I do know though that I AM on the right path. This is the way things were meant to happen...I can feel it. Whether it's true or not, putting it in writing makes me feel better at least.
I did have something else happen today that I thought would make the first thing a bit easier to swallow, but it didn't...it actually made it a bit harder and gave me way more to think about. Frick!
Damn, this is a hard blog to write. It's all good. I'm sure my friends will feel the same when I'm able to tell my tale...but for now I'm dealing with it as best I can.
On another note, my instructor thinks my flying is at commercial standards! wow, huh??!!? He says I'm ready for my instrument check ride after my next flight so I really have to get on the ball and study my ass off for the oral. I'm not there yet in that regard. I have some time to study tomorrow after work and have some ground school on Wednesday...so maybe check ride next week. From there it's just a few short hours before my commercial check ride - then who knows what...need to network more!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
