Monday, January 5, 2009

ambiguity

So, today my life path changed somewhat...well, more than somewhat and I unfortunately cannot tell anyone about it. I'm dying to get it off my chest and need to lean on my friends right now, but I can't really. So this post is my way of getting it out.

This change is defiantly something that I've wanted, but I really wanted it to happen in my own time frame. And now that it IS happening I'm having several waves of emotion - from total shock to fear to stress...I think the emotions noted would have been drastically different if things had happened a bit differently.

I'm thankful that some things have been set in motion to make this change a bit easier, but I'm still not really ready. I do know though that I AM on the right path. This is the way things were meant to happen...I can feel it. Whether it's true or not, putting it in writing makes me feel better at least.

I did have something else happen today that I thought would make the first thing a bit easier to swallow, but it didn't...it actually made it a bit harder and gave me way more to think about. Frick!

Damn, this is a hard blog to write. It's all good. I'm sure my friends will feel the same when I'm able to tell my tale...but for now I'm dealing with it as best I can.

On another note, my instructor thinks my flying is at commercial standards! wow, huh??!!? He says I'm ready for my instrument check ride after my next flight so I really have to get on the ball and study my ass off for the oral. I'm not there yet in that regard. I have some time to study tomorrow after work and have some ground school on Wednesday...so maybe check ride next week. From there it's just a few short hours before my commercial check ride - then who knows what...need to network more!

2 comments:

Kolla said...

You know if you need anything, just ask. We don't need to know the why's, although I'll admit curiosity is killing me.
Just say the word.

Christian said...

I'm so glad you're blogging again. Love reading them. Though right now I don't know whether to happy or concerned. I'm with Kolla.. don't need the why's, b/c whatever it is, we're all here..... and the curiosity is killing me