Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Progressing outside of my comfort zone

Life seems to be coming at me at a million miles an hour these days. I have gone from spending my afternoons at the gym or helping my grandparents and being bored with myself and life to flying helicopters and studying and being busy as hell in just a short couple of months. How crazy is that??

At first, just learning how to not kill myself in the helicopter was WAY outside of my comfort zone. Now I'm more comfortable and have been plugging away at the maneuvers that I will eventually need to master. But, it seems every time I find my comfort zone something else gets thrown at me...the biggest just this week. It seems that Roar thinks I'm about ready to solo. Wow...I don't really feel like I'm ready to solo. Not to mention that, but in order to solo I have to be checked out by another instructor. This really sucks and is freaking me out because a) I don't really like new people, b) I don't like being put on the spot and having to perform, c) I'm totally shy and completely lack self confidence and d) did I mention that I don't do well with new people, oh and e) I'm a complete klutz and will most certainly do something stupid and make an asshole out of myself. I'm starting to hyperventilate just thinking about it all. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a pilot? Seriously...I do stupid shit all the time.

Next thing, It appears that I'm ready to do my dual cross country as well. This isn't as bad as soloing because Roar will be in the heli with me and will be able to point the way when I start veering off towards Cuba or something. My navigational skills aren't the best...especially in a helicopter. Whenever I take focus away from flying, say to look for a check point, my flying skills go out the window. I either start to gain altitude, lose altitude or slow down to near 0 airspeed...none of which is safe. I wonder if other people deal with the same things?

Well, I guess if it wasn't challenging me I'd be bored and would have quit by now (actually, I think I've quit and started again about 20 times now).


lara kiyomi said...

Just picture yourself as Lucy Liu in Charlie's Angels and you'll kick ass! Pretend to be someone else, someone who has loads of confidence, skill, and hotness - then someday you will realize you actually ARE that person. Because you are :)

Ian said...

I like Lara's logic... cuz its smack on!!! You rock, and WILL do anything you put your mind to... love your honesty, and your focus.

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

Mikey... said...

You go, Girl! This is where you find out what you're made of. Grit your teeth and go for it.

Adrianne said...

Put your "Big Girl Panties" on and stop ur friggin' whinnin"! Welcome to my world- all 27 years past :-)

Anonymous said...

Cuba is nice... pick me up something cool if you land there :)

And since you have inspired me to go to EMT school (application papers arrived!) you can't very well quit now, because then I'll quit too, and you certainly don't want that on your conscience!

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